Aita for not inviting my cousin to my wedding. I made an alternate account because my regular username is known by most people I know. Reply. I said I did a long time ago, and she's not my family, but that's all it's going to be. make them sign a contract that states all of them will owe $1000 for every tantrum, (when I say all of them I mean the cousin, her husband any and all family and friends who advocate for cousin and daughter) she breaks anything $5000 I'm planning a very small and intimate wedding with only 30 guests, focusing on very close friends and immediate family members. He told me I could have sucked it up for one night and it wasn't an excuse to miss my cousin't wedding. Send your regrets and a little wedding gift, and save the car fare. My cousins wedding is today and I feel like I shouldn’t even be here. Reply reply. Weddings are not a family reunion orchestrated by any of the parents who decide that they can lord over the guest list. Your wedding, your guests and your spouse's. We did everything together including sneaking out at night for sleepovers even though our families hated each other just to talk. They’ve changed so much I don’t even know anything about them. I did not send one to my cousin Jake and I'm worried it's going to cause some drama in my family. My new wife to be also hates her, as my daughter ripped her horns That's exactly what happened-people immediately declined which made room for their invites. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you… So, for my wedding, I contacted my aunt on her side and asked whether maybe they could pick up my grandfather and make sure he got home safely. Block her. We are both of East Asian descent, and family is important to us, especially for weddings. for me they arent must have people, me and them talked, and they said it was fine and we could plan a fun day for us afterward to celebrate but now I'm getting a ton of backlash for not inviting 19 votes, 12 comments. My fiance chose being in charge of the food, the dessert, music, and having a place for his groomsman to stay. thatgirlthrowa. Based on your attitude and sense of superiority, I’d guess you did annoy your older cousins. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! AITA for ignoring my cousin after not being invited to the wedding? Not the A-hole. (Yes I know that is not 5 each. For the reception, my boyfriend only invited 2 aunts/uncles and 0 cousins. You're not close and that's all. My cousin recently got married and invited my partner and I to her wedding. Here’s the problem … their wedding day is also my boyfriends birthday and we have already paid for and planned a weekend away (paid for very pricey hotel and his mom bought us non refundable tickets to an attraction for $100) on the same weekend as In the end, I felt like I was being treated unfairly and that Emily was making unreasonable demands. It must be nice to not know any crazy attention seeking assholes. My grandparents never believed me and treated him like the golden child, and they would have made existence miserable if I didn't invite him to my wedding. If you want a wedding that small, serious cuts are being made. Note for later Lisa is Catholic while Ahmed is muslim. I can see how your dad is probably just trying to avoid a fight with his wife when she finds out. Hi, big fan of THT and this is my first write in so pls bare w me! I am writing this after the fact, but think it’s still worth sharing. Explain to Jake it's your wedding not his so he doesn't get to decide. Acting out as a 12 years old is to be expected. Your father's belief matters a very little if he's paying for it, and only very little then. Last month, i have given out the invitations to my wedding. Recently I trauma dumped this info to my new girlfriend, and it turns out she goes to school with my daughter. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I (26F Lesbian) told my family I would not be inviting my homophobic cousin to my wedding. As for the rest of the family, now they have an excuse to visit the baby since you couldn't have taken it anyways. 1: I told my cousin I didn't want her boyfriend at my birthday party 2: I have met him before which could justify the expectation of an invite, also he is always invited to events so this choice of mine might have hurt my cousin's feelings and given her the belief that I don't like her boyfriend. You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. Just to give some background. (in the proximity of you GF's relatives who ARE invited). On my mom's envelope, i had only put her and 1 other guest. His cousin in law (my partners’ cousins’ wife) had previously tried to break up our relationship by trashing you were NTA and a simple solution to your cousin and the family and friends telling you to invite cousins kid. AITA for not inviting my stepsister who bullied me to my wedding? Not the A-hole. We’ve always had conflicts and recently we got into an argument and Damsel hasn’t spoken to me in months since. ADMIN MOD. Myself and Lisa were speaking at an So for example, my auntie and step-uncle are invited along with my two cousins, however my step-uncles child isn’t invited to the ceremony and both cousins partners won’t be invited either. My cousin (27f) have a huge crush on my fiance ever since she met him at my 21st birthday party. There are reasons we don’t want my fiancé’s niece coming which is why we ultimately said it’ll be a childfree wedding. My aunt invites me to my cousins wedding. Deciding not to ever forgive your mom is totally your right (though it was 16 years ago, and you, while affected, were not really the aggrieved party). That only makes everyone miserable. Harassment is not going to change your mind. Unfortunately, my bf was still overseas for training so I invited my cousin to fill in as I do not want to waste the 'seat' for my bf. Snapping and getting pissy isn't the answer. She shouldn’t have to ignore the man that, let’s face it, essentially raised her, to boost the ego of her father. my oldest sibling first had a child free wedding and then the others decided to follow. I said he became a terrible person after Trump, and he vomited a lot of shit about me, said terrible things about my sexuality, terrible things about me being a gold digger in my relationships. You're not the asshole for not inviting mother and siblings. While we had a close bond in the past, our current relationship feels distant, and I'm worried that inviting her would mean leaving out other close friends and family who have been more involved in The only exception is my cousin Linda’s daughter Cerrie (12). Due to this my fiancée (26F) and I decided not to invite my sister (28F), we’ll call her Damsel. r/AmItheAsshole A chip A close button A chip A close button . You need to do more than not invite them from the wedding. Absolutely NTA for multiple reasons. It's not her wedding. All of them are now married and since i was a teen when they got married and they had a child free wedding, i was not invited to any of their weddings. Linda's entitled and selfish and she's made her daughter entitled and selfish. 1. A few days later, MIL came back to ask again, and I told her that my decision was the same and she's not invited. You pick your family, and you pick who you want to make a part of an important chapter of your life. My husband and I both agreed that this uncle would not be invited to the wedding. 40 people is about 20 invites per person. My wedding was in May of last year and I stuck to my guns and did not invite my cousin, but… Original Post - September 7, 2023. She said it's not fair and that i have cousins and aunts who love me and that i'm doing Recently my family were invited to my brothers wedding, me, my husband, our daughter (21) and our son (18), everyone except our younger son (16) because it is a child free wedding. Cousin herself isn’t even bother, suspect uncle is in ego about it. When I announced my engagement and posted the photos that was taken at the proposal. I explained that everyone had their part to play in the wedding. As I invited my cousin, she told me that she is a little busy with work yet she was all 'okay' 'sure' with her responses so I suppose she's fine with going. She called my uncle (her brother, cousin's father) and tore him a new one after she learned that he sent me to find cousin knowing what I would find, and for not saying anything when she and his wife were bothering me, knowing the reason why his daughter is not invited. Now, our family is divided, and some family members are angry at me for not inviting Emily. Kate is my cousin plus one. Your wedding, your rules. I didn’t invite all of my cousins to my wedding, but I didn’t want to do it with ill intentions, I want to make it fair, by not inviting 11 of my cousins on one said of the family, I didn’t invite three cousins on the other side of the family. I (26 year old F) am planning my wedding. Uninvite the homophobe cousin and CUT CONTACT WITH ALL OF THEM. So i am (23f) getting married in a few months. Personally, I don’t see how it is fair that an infant, that is technically my second cousin, out ranks actual nieces and nephews. AITA for not inviting my cousin to my wedding? Not the A-hole. We've only invited 20 people for the ceremony (our parents, brothers/sisters and our best friends with their SO's). MOD. When asked why, an argument ensued leading to my uncles fiancé not allowing the rest of the family to see their kids. The baby might take a second of attention away from her. It was a relatively small wedding (~80 people) for close family and friends over two nights in Napa. My aunt and cousin Mar 11, 2022 · "NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from you're [sic] wedding," one user said. Kyla was very mean to me and I had a hard time to the point that I had AITA for not inviting my siblings to my wedding? Not the A-hole. That's not a prank. NTA. We were close as kids, but as adults, we've drifted apart. Although we don't see her very often, my daughter extended the invitation. We used to see each other at family reunions when I was younger, but now that I have a choice, I don't attend these gatherings. I may be the asshole for upsetting my family by not inviting a family member, even thought I feel she isn’t supportive. There's me (25f,) sister (27f) and brother (28m) involved here. If she wants to be the ass, let her. I told him I wasn't going if my brother wasn't going because of Jack. •. Hi! So to start, the deed is done. We sent out our 1st round invites to our closest family/friends, last august. So my cousin Lisa (F30) is getting married to her fiancé of 10 years Ahmed (M32). Not only was my sons birthday party the same day however said cousin didn’t attend my wedding and didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I got married. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I didn’t invite my uncle and his family to my wedding. My fiancé and I are not inviting my fiancé’s own nieces and nephews. 3 years ago our grandma died and my cousin cut contact. One of my cousins wore a white wedding dress to our other cousins wedding. NTA and don't back down. If she wanted her kids to be together, she had plenty of opportunities to make sure you were included and chose not to! He then started arguing to "stop with the stupid pride and ambition, suck it up and accept the invite" after a small argument we ended the convo and I wrote him a lengthy message detailing the pain his nephew brought me, the fact that him pushing me is a form of disrespect and he is showing no support for my trauma, me not going is a matter of Apologize without expecting forgiveness. The deadline for RSVPs is 1/31/22. Just to cause problems. He should’ve put in the effort to get his family into your life. I've invited all my aunts/uncles and cousins. So I stopped going, I stopped RSVPing, I stopped sending gifts. I know my great aunt but not her children very well and haven’t seen them in a few years. And here it's a complete 180. Tell him she's still as abusive as she was then and you don't allow abusive people in your life. I (F21) am bisexual and have currently been with my girlfriend for 4 years. Relatively non-confrontational ways of tamping down the number of attendees like this can be a godsend. Then put the phone down or leave the room. That's malicous bullying. Another note, this is my second marriage. You’re not obligated to invite a step sibling you aren’t close to. We stopped talking. Get security at your wedding. So, I made the difficult decision to not invite her to our wedding, fearing that her presence would only add stress and tension to our special day. Here's the issue: My cousin (70), with whom I've had an on-and-off relationship since childhood, was invited along with her daughter. The feud has been going on for 8 years now, because of that damn dress. But you’re also not an asshole for not wanting to attend an hours-long party with no one to dance with except your sister. And I have few significantly older siblings 34f 36m 38m 38m. All the emotions I have toward him are bitter and ugly, and I did not want to feel that way on my wedding day. My father is wealthy so we used to go to a fancy school. ) We been fighting about that since then. The wedding was last Saturday and she texted me on Thursday evening. They’ll all be welcome and invited to the reception, however we can understand if they wouldn’t want to turn up due to the venue being about 2 hours IT'S OF* IN THE TITLE So i am (23f) getting married in a few months. It was a last minute decision on the venue and it’s a micro wedding so very small guest list. We told both of our parents early on that we are having a SMALL wedding, 60 people max. You shut the cousin up by replying them in the same public way with the video taped "prank". OP NTA. Second, and more relevant to your situation, your cousin wasn’t there for you in a particularly difficult time. Me and my cousin exchange happy birthday text once a year and thats it. You do not want that at your wedding. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. And my sisters wedding, back in 2015, was similiar. Absolutely this. Another 2nd cousin is getting married. I was in my 30s and family was still just adding me to my parent's invitations, despite not living with them for over a decade. I have a cousin who abused and literally tried to kill me when we were kids. You are never obligated to attend a wedding, unless it's your own and you intend to go ahead with the marriage. . Didn’t even reach out for 3 of what I can say the worst years of my life. Great answer, totally agree. I'm surprised the wedding wasn't called off. My fiancé and I decided on this because we both prefer a smaller, more personal celebration. I made the decision not to invite my mom's brother, his wife (my aunt), and their son (my cousin) to my wedding due to decades of rude behavior and the lack of a close relationship with me. Your cousin has dealt with this terribly and it could've all been avoided had they drawn up their guest list earlier on and come to a definitive answer. "YTA- for making your husband put up with their antics for so long. My partner is fairly close to his family. Original Post - September 7, 2023. I called my brother to confirm that my son wasn't invited because I have been to child-free wedding before that are 13+ or 16+ and my son won't make behave badly or Fast forward to the wedding. AITA for yelling at my family about being uninvited to my cousins wedding. Stand your ground because you are in no way the asshole here. If he still doesn't understand tell him you will invite her if you are allowed to do to him everything she did to you. Tell her she has communicated how she feels and the decision has been made. I have a particular set of siblings I would wish to just not bother inviting to my big day. If you make one exception, you will have to make more. This last week he told me that I shouldn’t count on his money if Kyla isn’t invited and my mom said “fine, I’ll pay for everything then”. The fact that you are still throwing tantrums like a 12 year old, at the age of 28, makes you the AH. Not the A-hole. All of them can go fuck themselves. tosser9212. You're not obligated to invite them because they're "family". "It would be a huge breach of etiquette, and a slap in the face to them. One day, a guy from our campus approach us. My (F28) wedding was during the summer last year in Napa. 68. The only rule is that both halves of a married couple need to be invited, barring extreme circumstances. Her grandma which is my aunt invited me and expected me to go. Let your mother screech. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. I did not invite my cousins, I don't hate my cousins, we just aren't close, we only see each other when we have to, I don't even have their numbers. Which they communicated to my mother and not to me. I've only been invited to one cousin's wedding in my life and didn't think anything of it when I wasn't invited to others, weddings are expensive and he was the only cousin I was actually close to growing up (and we'd drifted apart quite a bit by then just with life stuff. My older brother (28M) defended his wife but this has resulted in both of them not speaking for 7 year. I told my dad this and he agreed with Harold, saying I could try and AITA. We have decided on a small wedding 60 people MAX for June of this year. I'm considering not inviting my cousin Sarah to my wedding because we've grown apart over the years and our recent interactions have been awkward. Sorry to clarify, the older cousin is from a different family. First night was a welcome dinner at a NTA. I would tell your sister you will miss her at the wedding but you will not be inviting your niece. On the day of the wedding, i have updated her and all. I chose things like flowers, my dress, After the tone (a really cool guest book option), and not inviting two of my cousins. You need to go NC. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. People will post, AITA bc I want a child free wedding and the redditors are like, no, it's your wedding, you do what you want. She doesn’t think it’s worth not inviting my cousin for “one day” and that it would cause a “lifetime of conflict”. She has a brother (uncle) and sister (aunt) who will be invited to the full day, as we speak to them regularly and they congratulated us when we broke the news. It was to the point that I won't come to family events. You don't have to listen to her. She questioned why i only put 1 guest since she paid $3k and was enough to invite more people. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver The Uncle, seemingly making a unilateral decision, responded sharply saying that they were no longer attending the wedding ceremony if we did not invite the cousin’s new partner. My dad’s extended family are very traditional and had certain views on non-white people and how a woman should behave. She said I should forgive her since she's family and move on. So although that is a large number of guest, I still needed to choose very carefully who to invite/not. He told me about the bullying I received from my cousin from his perspective. Here's the issue: I chose not to invite my cousin, Sarah. J dresses in female clothing a majority of the time now & wears makeup as well; this heavily affected my Aunt It is your wedding and you and your fiance get to decide who is allowed to attend. I never understood the assumption that people could bring children to weddings. Unsurprisingly this really upset my fiancée and has resulted in some unnecessary pressure from that side of the family to just invite this person to ‘be the She's invited 60 close friends and relatives. Block her mother. You even sent an invite to HIS family member without telling your fiance that you weren't inviting his cousins wife who again, OWNS the property you want to use. Me and my family do not get on, we haven’t for a long time. Then a week ago their wedding invitation comes in with a note saying we are ALL invited. 2. Read this before contacting the mod team. When my best friend(21f) let’s call her Sally, found out she was mad at me for not thinking of her since she’s never been to a wedding. This wedding symbolizes a new start with her - and your life going forward should not include people who view your love as sinful or wrong. it will help you deal with your conscience and move on. Then we found out our dad wasn't our bio dad, which even he didn't know, it then turned out my older siblings shared Backstory in short. Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. Help keep the sub engaging! Not the A-hole. There was no boundaries on my mothers side. ) AITA for not inviting my cousin to my wedding? Not the A-hole Recently i finally arranged a wedding with my wife,I invited all of my family except my cousin because he doesnt give back any money he borrows from me,it isnt anything he did once or two but a thing he regularly does Sending out invitations, MIL asked if I was inviting Sara, and I said no. You do not need toxic assholes in your and your wife's life. Increasing numbers of guests increase cost exponentially. Plus all my friends are going and we had plans for the game before I found out my cousin was getting married. When I informed my cousin, she asked if her granddaughters (24 & 21) were also invited. Gross gross gross behavior from the cousin and aunt. Two years ago my other cousin, Linda's sister Lily got married and Cerrie ruined the wedding by throwing a tantrum, and destroying the cake because she was jealous that Lily's daughter was the flower girl. Half an hour later my cousin calls me shouting about how she has two children, how can I expect her side of the family to look after him. The bride and groom will not even notice your absence because they will be busy. I understand he feels all family deserves an invite, but it isn’t his wedding. Straight up tell your mom they are NOT invited and you will NOT invite them to "keep the peace". I asked her who else she wanted to invite. Which is probably why bridezilla didn't want you to come. Harold wanted to know why. 1K. I'm getting married at the end of the year and we just send out the save the dates. When people make a wedding child-free, they expect that some people won't be able to attend. He said it’s our day and we can choose who we want at our wedding. Myself (m29) and partner (f29) are at a bit of a standstill with my mum over our wedding invites for the ceremony. YTA but really your uncle is. I feel this too well. It's exhausting being related to them. Every time I see him, I am reminded of how he failed to protect my cousin. " It is not like aunt and cousin were big on Your aunt skipped out on your sister's wedding or your mother's funeral. After that he said that he’s not coming to the wedding without Kyla and I replied “fine”. Well, some days ago, I received an invitation to the wedding of my cousin “Taylor” (26F). I refused to apologize and now my grandma is upset. I hadn’t noticed any clue that pointed to anything We invited my daughter (17f) to the wedding, even though I’ve been out of her life since she killed her mother and my first wife in a fit of rage when she was only 3. We invited 300 people to our wedding as I have a huge family. We were raised together and until 2019 we believed we were a nuclear biological family. AITA for not inviting my partners cousins to our wedding. Sure your cousin is cheeky, and abit entitled. I thought he was very attractive and told her I wanted his number. AITA for not inviting them to my upcoming wedding? I don’t see why I should have to pay to have people there who either constantly criticise me or I just generally don Things haven’t been exactly great, but I’ve managed. The fact that you want to use someone else's property AND animals is insane for how your acting. I 26M was invited to my cousins 28F wedding on extremely short notice. If you do invite her- do not be surprised when she ruins the wedding with lies. " It turns out someone, likely the bride or groom, told Harold that I decline. So, I've been in your cousins' shoes. The whole nine yards and then some. 21. You did NOT invite your cousin to your wedding. Especially one you’ve known for 6 or fewer years (I’m assuming you didn’t meet the guy until they’d been dating for a while or even engaged or married). We are holding out in case something major comes up. They often hope it means some won’t be able to attend. I had only seen them barely interact during family meetings. AITA for not inviting my cousin to my wedding? I had a terrible fight w my cousin at the time of Trump elections. It's a tiny wedding. Sure, it's an invite not a summons, but she has constantly shown a lack of interest in your family. My fiancé (43M) and I (44F) have been together for 2 years. Do not be manipulated into inviting her. They are allowed the wedding they want regardless of the reason, you are allowed to say no. Everyone was in everyone’s business. My father remarried when I (25F) was 14, his wife Mary (49F) and his stepdaughter Kyla (26F) were hell in my life. AITA for disinviting my siblings from my wedding. And just neglected to send his invitation until a couple days before the wedding. My grandma and aunt are trying to convince me to invite Kyla Me (25f) & my Husband (28m) got married in June. I just read your question without the context, and I say no. You invite whoever you want. My aunt has 3 children between 16 - 23 and my uncle AITA for not inviting my cousin to my wedding? When I was young, my cousin and I were inseparable. Sally was even more angry when our other best friend(22f) lets call her Kate, we are a trio, got invited to the wedding. It was a PERFECT wedding! However, there were complications with the planning: My cousin (32) J, had a rough patch with my Aunt & Uncle do to them coming out as non-binary 2 years ago. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. My first marriage, back in 2010, EVERYONE was invited! Like my entire familiy, and I have a frigging large family! We ended being 80+ in total. I'm not super close to my cousin and I haven't seen my family down there in eight years. 11M subscribers in the AmItheAsshole community. NTA it's your wedding, you get to invite whoever you want. 198. Imagine my surprise when I read it and saw that my ex-fiance was the groom. About 7 years ago, my younger brother (26M) and my older brother’s wife (24F) got into a verbal altercation where both parties said some really hurtful things to each other. She married into a very wealthy family and her new husband's dad rented out the country club ball room, hired gourmet chefs, paid for an open bar, etc. We want a small wedding. My cousin got married, and decided to invite all the cousins, all the aunts and uncles, except my brother and I. We were again around 80 guests, not everyone in our family were invited, but my aunt and cousins were. And barring special occasions don’t speak at all. Blanket rules like no children are not targeted to exclude specific people. It’s not your family or uncle’s wedding, it’s your cousin’s wedding. To no surprise, my father said throughout the marriage with my mother, she always chose her siblings and her mother over my father and her children. Your cousin is blasting you on social media for the wedding destination. My fiancé thinks I’m in the right and he personally doesn’t want her at the wedding because of how she treated me in the past. My grandma is particularly close with one of her sisters whom she lives with. For three years, my aunt and cousin tried to break us up so my cousin can get with him. First and foremost, you are never the asshole for putting distance between yourself and blood relatives. Your mother should have been grateful that you accepted three of your dad's cousins that she wanted to invite, while they weren't on your list. Sorry this is a long post but some quick context: prior to about a year ago, my cousin (30M) and I (25F) had a distant relationship. And yes, you have to tell the cousin she's not invited. Your niece only bring drama with her. Fast forward another year, June, 2022. But it sounds like she won't rock up to the wedding with the kid so let her graciously or ungraciously decline the invite. So I did. Cheap, rude, or forgetful - take your pick. Kate is dating my cousin that’s why she was invited. When they invited me they just copied a message they sent to their friends.
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